How do we feed baby?
Its much worse than you think. I inserted the tube slightly wrong this time and there was a tiny bit of blood on the end. The nurse is on her way over to show me how - again.
Now is a good of time as any to tell you how it goes with Kennedy. Since she was born she has stopped breathing periodically. She just stops and turns blue. This goes on for minutes - 10 sometimes. She has had almost 20 of these since she was born.
The way she comes out of it is to gasp and cry a little. It is a reaction to the acid that forms from the lack of oxygen - I was told.
So every 3 hours or so my daughter stops breathing. She turns blue - almost black. She then gasps for air for minutes afterwards trying to stay alive. Carol trys not to cry or at least to not be histerical, but it isnt easy watching your child turn from the pink on these pages to deep dark blue.
And then we cant feed her so we dont eat. Carol and I cannot bring ourselves to sit and eat until after baby is content. This last time I wasnt able to get the feeding tube in, so we wait. I think I know what I did wrong - I was pushing it up and not back (if you point your finger at your nose and point it to the back of your head).
This is the most difficult experience I have had in my life.
Last night Carol allowed me to sleep first. She made it until about 4 am or so. She woke me up and I spent a wonderful 4 hours or so with baby until she started to turn blue, so I woke Carol up. I cleaned Kennedy's eye, I changed her diaper, I kissed her and held her all morning.
Carol is doing this the other 20 hours of the day. I am support. Carol needs this time as much as Kennedy needs Carol.
10/11/2005 2:33:47 PM
Comment by deborahhals<at>yahoo.com
If you all need anyone to even briefly sit with Kennedy, for instance, if you and Carol have a doctor's appt, or need to leave for a few hours, I would like to offer to help out. I feel totally comfortable with the gavage feeding (I worked in a hospital for many years), and as an old mom :-), I would not be afraid to help out and keep care of her for a brief time, so please feel free to take me up on that. I know you would hesitate to leave her, but if you ever have to, I would be honored to help, and I'm reliable, and not afraid to do so.
posted @ 10/11/2005 3:30:13 PM